I was trying to come up with something good to put in my bio box on Facebook

and now I’ve thought too much.

I’ve been watching the first season of Glee and it’s been making me so jealous of the cast. I was really involved in plays, musicals, chorus, and outside singing activities in the past. Now I’m in college and am having to face the realities of life. The one dream I’ve had since I can remember is to become a singer. Over time, it’s transformed into wanting to be an actress. I can’t give up that dream up so easily. I love the show Glee, but it frustrates me knowing that the cast gets to live out their dream while I’m stuck facing the realities of life.

I often get strong urges to drop my nursing major and go head-on with a musical theatre major and a vocal music minor. But I can’t do that. I have to think about things like job security, salary, flexibility, and the list goes on. I’m just tired of sitting back and pretending like I’m okay with letting this dream I’ve had fade away. I’m tired of acting like nursing is what I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s not and I know it. I’m scared to admit that to myself.

Now that I have, what can I do? Double major? Minor in musical theatre? But you see, nursing and musical theatre are jealous majors. They either singularly have your life or none of you at all. Singing and acting are things that I could do for the rest of my life. In fact, I’ve practically done those things all my life until this point.

I can’t stand reality anymore. Let me pretend.