It's Christmas time again already. I can't believe what's happened this year. I'm going to be honest and say: there are a number of things I would've done differently. But I can't change my past. That has been one of the most important lessons I've learned.
I've changed and I like it.
"I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning."
-Anonymous
A lot of things have changed since this time last year. I'm grateful. Its something I can't explain and it wouldn't make any sense if I tried to tell someone how I got to this point. A person would not think the road I just stepped off of, chapter I just ended, would lead to this state of mind.
I'm no longer sticking to the main roads that are now becoming unfamiliar to me;
I'm exploring the wilderness. I'm not confined to the bound pages of books anymore; I'm
writing on anything that'll get my thoughts in smudges of ink down.
I'm looking forward to this new season because it's only just started. I'm interested in seeing what I'll find and what will happen.
What was your previous road?
ReplyDeleteWhat was the beginning and who are you know?
My previous road...
ReplyDeleteI don't really know how to explain it. Hmm..
It was basically this: I couldn't think for myself and was easily influenced by other things. I couldn't figure out what I wanted or who I wanted to be.
I feel like I've found myself. Found my identity. And everything else was trial and error. I accept myself and I've stopped trying to fix myself.
The beginning of this was prolly during the summer of this year. Some things happened and I opened my eyes and decided to look around.
Sorry this is kinda vague. I hope this answers your questions.
"How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity!"
ReplyDelete-Henry David Thoreau
"Tally ho! Life awaits!"
-Michael James Gossett
I could go on with appropriate quotes, from Socrates to Fight Club, but I will desist. There is certainly a great amount of freedom found in accepting who you are (I'm not sure its something we find so much as it is something we've always known. we simply discover we need not look further than a mirror). Though I will warn: eventually this will pass. It is at that time that one must look to Kierkegaard's Repetition. Now, he says a lot of stuff in it, but applicable here is the ideas of recollection and repetition. One can always recollect, remember, a feeling or an event, and to a certain extent that is good enough. But repetition on the other hand, recreating a feeling to experience it again, that is a much more difficult thing to achieve (and you'll have to find what works for you). At least, achieving repetition works well for me.
Until then, revel in your victory. Few people as young as you are able to make the claim you have made. Then again, few people as young as you are as intelligent and intuitive as you are. You will do well, go far, be successful yadda yadda. So much more importantly, I think you'll be content in, if nothing else, being yourself. And what do we really have but ourselves?
"The Road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began. Now far ahead the road has gone, and I must follow if I can. Pursuing it with eager feet, until it joins some larger way, where many paths and errands meet. And whither then? I cannot say."
-J.R.R. Tolkien
"You know the way, you always have. Trust yourself to go go go."
-me
I figure I can't stay in this mind set forever, but I'm glad it happened. I've never done this before, but I hope I can tie this into my patterns in life. That'd be nice.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I'm tired of tradition and conformity, it's that I used to accept those things without question and not ask why or what could be different. But I agree that those ruts are deep.
I know we don't agree on this, but I think my trusting in the God I believe in helped. I mean, I really trusted him/it/whatever. We should talk about this sometime. I'd like to know what you'd think about it.
Thank you very much. I have a feeling this would be one of the many topics in our talks if we get a chance to hang out. haha
I just like to say that your using lots of bold and fun spacing is awesome. Thumbs up to you!
ReplyDeleteYou can do what I do, just roll with it. Or listen to Brandon, he's been a major changing force in my life.
growing up is the hardest thing ever but its so exciting too. I can't wait to see the person you've grown into!
ReplyDeleteKudos for the book club, too. I'm definitely coming! Just save room for a wheelchair. I love Tolkein...
ReplyDelete