I can say with confidence and much happiness that I have found the person I am going to marry.

Three years ago I quit taking voice lessons because the things the teacher was making me do wasn't "me".

Looking like a Barbie,

striving for absolute perfection,

having 3 minutes at most to win someone over and get their vote.

I don't mean to make the first company seem like it made that part of my life miserable. I loved it so much and learned a lot, but so much political stuff was going on and I wasn't where I wanted to be.

To leave was the right decision at that time.

But my passion for performing overpowers all of that.

I miss it so much.

Today, I'm signing up for a different voice company. One that looks much more promising. After about 6 years of rejection and not feeling good enough, I finally quit. But I've grown up a lot in 3 years and it's time to pick up where I left off at a new place. :)

I just want to perform.

Reflections of 2010

This year has been.....messed up.

Disappointing.

I don't want to be negative, but I have to look at the truth.

The good thing is that there's always hope for next year.

I have a lot of things going for me and a lot to look forward to next year.

The transition from high school to college was better and worse than I thought it'd be.

I mean, it's hard to make something of yourself when you don't even know where to start.

On the other hand, I've made so many friends and I love them

(even if they are a little crazy and messed up :P).

I don't have much to be proud of this year, but I think things are looking up.

So many things have changed since the beginning of this year and even in the past couple of months. All for the better, but they were hard to go through nonetheless.

I'm just ready for things to work out and give me a chance to be find what I'm looking for.

I'm ready for this year to be over.

Let's see.... Things I'm looking forward to.......

letting my hair grow out

I actually have a date in the new year :)

majoring in psychology and minoring in music(what I should've been doing all along)

new roommate + new dorm

going back to the same friends

playing the mandolin

playing "Madeline" in The Fall Of The House Of Usher

There are so many more things, but I think I'll leave it at that.

2 more days. :)

Sitting in restaurants

Thought we were so grown up

But I know now that we were not the people

That we turned out to be

Chatting on the phone

Can’t take back those hours

But I won’t regret

‘Cause you can grow flowers

From where dirt used to be

I can be alone, yeah

I can watch a sunset on my own

I can be alone, yeah

The Alchemist

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.

It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there’s no need at all to understand what’s happening, because everything happens within you.

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.

Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You’ve got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.

The boy reached through to the Soul of the World, and saw that it was part of the Soul of God. And he saw that the Soul of God was his own soul. And that he, a boy, could perform miracles.

It required no explanation, just as the universe need none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only women in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than anything in the world.

And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.

Don’t think about what you’ve left behind.

People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them.

Paulo Coelho. Gotta love him.

I was trying to come up with something good to put in my bio box on Facebook

and now I’ve thought too much.

I’ve been watching the first season of Glee and it’s been making me so jealous of the cast. I was really involved in plays, musicals, chorus, and outside singing activities in the past. Now I’m in college and am having to face the realities of life. The one dream I’ve had since I can remember is to become a singer. Over time, it’s transformed into wanting to be an actress. I can’t give up that dream up so easily. I love the show Glee, but it frustrates me knowing that the cast gets to live out their dream while I’m stuck facing the realities of life.

I often get strong urges to drop my nursing major and go head-on with a musical theatre major and a vocal music minor. But I can’t do that. I have to think about things like job security, salary, flexibility, and the list goes on. I’m just tired of sitting back and pretending like I’m okay with letting this dream I’ve had fade away. I’m tired of acting like nursing is what I want to do for the rest of my life. It’s not and I know it. I’m scared to admit that to myself.

Now that I have, what can I do? Double major? Minor in musical theatre? But you see, nursing and musical theatre are jealous majors. They either singularly have your life or none of you at all. Singing and acting are things that I could do for the rest of my life. In fact, I’ve practically done those things all my life until this point.

I can’t stand reality anymore. Let me pretend.