This is how I feel.

Four Hours

Yesterday I shadowed a Psychiatric Nurse and really enjoyed it. I never thought I’d want to work with people in that condition, but from what I experienced over four hours last night, I do.

When I first walked in, I was a little nervous and uptight. For the first hour or so I was behind the thick glass and padlocked door. I kept repeating to myself a quote by Marie Curie that I thought really pinpointed my thought process:

“Nothing is to be feared, but understood.”

As time passed, I relaxed and became comfortable. When I finally got the courage to walk around and mingle with the patients, I knew I wanted to be a Psychiatric Nurse. Most of the patients were fairly lucid, functional, and could hold enjoyable conversations. I laughed with them and talked with them a little about their conditions when they volunteered the information.

Most of the patients are voluntary and realize they need to change. Most of them just want someone to listen to the strife that’s going on in their bodies and minds. They want to be seen as real people, not just a bunch of lunatics. They need to know that someone cares about them and wants them to succeed in the program. I don’t know what their religious backgrounds are, but I want them to know that a hope and trust in God can carry them.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7

I cannot tell you how many of them need to hear those words.

I have this weird feeling that about everything I’ve experienced in my life has prepared me to be a Psychiatric Nurse. Or any kind of nurse. I’ve fought being a nurse and even going to Harding until just a few months ago.

Now I’ll focus on becoming what people like them need me to be and what I want to be.

My roommate's blog :)

http://fixmysituation.blogspot.com

First impressions of college....

I really love college. It's so unbelievably different! Everything has took a turn for the better. I have amazing friends, I feel loved, we have good clean fun (haha), and I'm growing closer to God. I'm laughing more often and harder than I have in a very long time. All the insecurities I took with me and walls I built from high school are being stripped down one by one.

It's the greatest feeling. :)

I do miss my family. I wish I could call them and tell them all the hilarious stuff that happens, but I know I'll visit soon. I realize I've taken a lot of things for granted. A house, a home cooked meal, a family, money.

I'm really excited about what lies ahead. Classes start tomorrow. TOMORROW. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it... And really nervous. But it'll be okay.

I'm ready.

What everyone's talking about these days....

Photo taken by me.

Something about it makes me feel strange. Maybe because everyone seems to be counting down.

End of summer. Beginning of college.

Change.

It’s so close it’s almost tangible. Things are normal for now, but they won’t be for long. Change is just right around the corner.

And it’ll make you or break you.

I’ve been thinking:

Won’t this be the last time I actually live full time at this house with my family? Of course I’ll visit, but I heard that

sooner or later, home won’t feel like home anymore.

“Going home” turns into “visiting family”.

New friends. New experiences. A career. A husband (hopefully that’ll happen later than sooner).

A future

I’m excited about what lies ahead. I’m ready to put behind my past fully. I’m ready for change.

10 days :)

But remember:

”Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails."

Proverbs 19:21

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8:28

Moving on.

Since the Blogger world is dying, I decided to get a Tumblr. Blogger is definitely better, but Tumblr has people who respond..... No offense.. Anyway, I'll still post on here.

My new blog is called

Whispers.

I feel like a traitor, but it looks like

it's time to move on.

http://ms-samanthaelizabeth.tumblr.com/

Friends and Psychology

Ahhh, I love friends. I've been reconnecting with some friends lately and it feels good :). I need more friends in my life.

I'm like my dad in that social things do not come naturally to me. I have to think about it and work on it. I mean, I'm not rude or anything, but it's not like I go out of my way to do things for people or spend time with them.

I'm breaking that habit.

I've been battling myself over the years on people just accepting me the way I am or my changing myself to make other people happy. I've learned that there's no one road or choice and I shouldn't have limited myself to that. Really, it takes people accepting me for who I am and my changing some aspects about me to be more personable.

Compromise.

When I was 15, I went in for a psychological evaluation to see if I had ADD (...and I did haha). In my psychological report, I read that I do not "play well with others". What? I can laugh at that now, but back then it was true.

Speaking of psychology, I'm reading this book called

Psycho-Cybernectics by Maxwell Maltz.

It basically says that everyone, from childhood, creates their self-image based on the reactions they get from other people and things they experience in the early stages of life. If people have a negative self-image they'll find things to prove it. An example was if a person failed a class he should say, "I failed math." Instead, he usually says, "I'm a failure." Then he does or finds things that prove his self-image. It can go the same way with a positive self-image. Maltz says that if a person figures out how to change his self-image, he can change his life.

It's a very interesting book and I'll probably blog more about it when I get further into it. I recommend it!