Words

I feel like I've changed so much, especially since high school. I've gone through things most people don't even know about, and I won't list them here...

The changes have been good and bad. I don't think I could ever recall the person I was in high school even if I tried...but I love who I am now. It's been a long road.

Peace is my ultimate goal. Love is easy, but peace is evasive.

The things I chase are music, money, and adventure.

Also, I have a kitten now. Her name is Stormi, and her purring calms me. She's lovely.

And I love kpop! My favorite groups are BLACKPINK, BTS, Red Velvet, and TWICE. It's difficult to share this with people because they let a language barrier stop their exploration, but I don't really care. What's life worth living if you try to be "normal" the whole time.

I hope anyone out there reading this is doing well.

Return to Sender

Places I've Travelled

Poland (Krakow, Warsaw, Gdansk, Sopot, Torun, Plock)
France (Lyon, Nice)
Italy (Florence, Rome)
Switzerland (Basel, Interlaken)


Credentials

Psychology BA
Nursing BSN
Registered Nurse

I remember intense internal conflict for years over what I would do with "my life" ... I felt it ease when I resolved to pursue a nursing degree (the second time).
I found purpose when I experienced what it feels like to use my time to help. A hospital is very much a corporate overlord, but I don't feel like I'm circling the drain anymore.
I had to come to this conclusion myself after growing up a bit. How could it have happened any other way?
This is more fulfilling than music or theatre. I can make a real difference this time. I'm contributing to a purpose bigger than myself. I'll be able to look back on my life knowing I didn't waste it with frivolous desires or idealistic fantasy.

This is who I am, and I will not shy away.


Beings I Love

My husband, Adam
My dog, Zelda

We live in an apartment a little more comfortable than the last. I am very content here. Maybe even happy :)



Growing into adulthood isn't easy, but I've made it out the other side at 26.


I'm entertaining the idea of posting on here more frequently. I'll see.
After all this writing, I need a drink.

Visiting Again

Three years. Three years have taken me to a completely new place in my life.

In 2016, I decided to apply for an accelerated 18 month nursing program at UTHSC in Memphis, and I graduated on May 25th of this year. I have to say, it was one of the hardest things I've done, but it was worth it. This feels like something that is truly mine. No one can take this away from me, and I can go virtually anywhere and have a job. Independence is what I've craved for most of my life, and I finally have it.

Orientation for my first nursing job starts this Monday. I feel ridiculous looking forward to 6 days of corporate bullshit, but I want to work.


This is a new era. My era. Adulthood.

Hello Again

I hardly know what to type because I've spent some time reading through my blog and have seemingly come out on the other side of my musings for the most part.

I got a degree. I'm married. I'm 23. I miss this blog.

I'm also kinda counting on no one reading this. I'm lying on my bed in my tiny apartment that resides in essentially the midtown of Knoxville. It's finally summer. 

Adam and I are working together. We're publishers for a local magazine and it's pretty great. We're our own bosses, nothing too demanding, and it makes a decent living. I can't complain.

I'm no psychologist, writer, or actress. I've become a strange combination of realism and transcendentalism with my career goals. Acting and writing have no security, and even if you happen to "make it" there's no privacy. I did a couple training classes to get a taste of what being a therapist would be like. I was very good, but I could tell I'd become completely and utterly jaded to the world.

In the end, I found that all I truly wanted was to escape the sentence of the 9 to 5 grind and be able to live my life freely. Seriously, don't ask me how I landed that. I have no idea.

As for acting, there are plenty of community theatres around that I'd love to try my hand in. I haven't totally relinquished the desire :)


I feel like overall I've finally landed my feet on earth. I let my head linger in the clouds, but I don't fly away as much. I guess that's what being out of high school will do to you.

I suppose that's all for now. I might get on again later tonight because I have other things I want to write about.


If anyone's here from the old blogsphere, I'd love to catch up.

Hello, Friend

I haven't posted in so long I hardly know what to say. At least, that's the way it feels. So this post'll be random haha. Recently I've just been going through the motions because my best friend is in Europe. It's cliche, but whatever.

Here's me dressed as Misty from Pokemon! That was really fun. The theme was "When I grow up I want to be...."
When I was little I was pretty mad that I didn't get to drop out of school and join Misty, Ash, and Brock in their adventures. I would've chosen Charmander as my first pokemon. :D

My oldest cousin got married tonight!! The first of all us cousins. It makes me wonder how things will change if and when the majority of us get married.
Also, weddings are so much fun! If only I were 21 as well.... :P

My life has changed a lot since I last posted, but I don't know how to convey it. I'm more laid back than I was in high school.
My reputation doesn't matter to me as much anymore. If people hear about what I do, that's fine. I hope they still accept me, but if they don't then it's best we're not friends anyway.
No need for drama, mama :P

I feel like this is the closest I've ever come to truly being myself :). It's a wonderful feeling, but there is a price to pay. More vulnerability, but it's so worth it.
I'm so free.

I'm still a psychology major and I LOVE IT. Music minor.
I'm really looking forward to discovering where my education and relationships will lead me in the future. I have so many opportunities and lots of time.
The confines of American culture no longer hold me back. I don't feel like my life has to follow a particular path or resolve a certain way.
I'm taking MY path. My very own personal one. My life will not follow the expected order.
I'd hate to look back when I'm older and realize my life has followed the predicted sequence of events that were expected of me.
Ultimately, I'm in a happy place.

Peace.

I feel like I'm running downhill and can't stop.

Going and going and going.

Picking up speed.

Tripping over my feet.

And it's so much fun.

So much to do, so little time.

I think I've finally gotten the hang of this whole college thing.

I've had the freedom and opportunity to broaden my horizons and meet new people. And it feels good.

I will admit, I sometimes miss my friends from back home and the way things used to be. But I have to just keep pressing forward.

All in all, I'm very satisfied with things.

I can say with confidence and much happiness that I have found the person I am going to marry.